See strange psychopathic behaviours and corporate wheezes on this site for related information. Also see here for a list of other sites with similar lists of abusive behaviour ("red flags").
Please note that individual incidents of the abuses listed here may be relatively trivial but there may be a large number of such incidents sustained over time which can cause serious psychological damage to the target, for example, depression, loss of self esteem or "complex post-traumatic stress disorder". It can be a sort of "death by a thousand cuts", where each cut may be relatively minor but the cumulative effect can be severe.
Please note that individual incidents of the abuses listed here may be relatively trivial but there may be a large number of such incidents sustained over time which can cause serious psychological damage to the target, for example, depression, loss of self esteem or "complex post-traumatic stress disorder". It can be a sort of "death by a thousand cuts", where each cut may be relatively minor but the cumulative effect can be severe.
- Failure to consider your worries and concerns
- Lack of respect for different opinions
- Whispering to others or mumbled below-hearing level criticism
- Requesting information about us from others rather than to us
- Threatening or aggressive body stance and gestures, disrespect for "personal body space".
- Inappropriate touching, for example prodding in the ribs or pounding with the fist.
- Discrediting the person: spreading rumours - "whispering campaigns", undermining him, ridiculing him, humiliating him, calling into question his convictions or his private life, shouting abuse at him or sexually harassing him.
- Belittling the person: forcing him to perform tasks that are belittling or below his skills, simulating professional misconduct.
- Preventing the person from expressing himself: yelling at him, threatening him, constantly interrupting or hectoring him, prohibiting him from speaking to others.
- Isolating the person: no longer talking to him at all, denying his presence, distancing him from others, ostracising.
- Destabilizing the person: making fun of his convictions, his tastes and his political choices.
- Making false accusations, fault-finding, nit-picking, name-calling, nagging, teasing, taunting, mocking, mimicking, badgering, swearing.
- Kicking, spitting, tripping up, barracking, cajoling.
- Glaring, disdainful smirking, sniggering and grinning.
- Finger pointing, finger poking and jabbing
- Pushing, shoving, blocking or bumping.
- Social exclusion, malicious gossiping, exploitation
- "The look" - "the silent treatment" or unanswered questions
- Pressured decision making
- Audible, annoyed-sounding "sighing".
- Snide remarks. "Can't you take a joke ?" insults. This is abuse dressed up as banter.
- Making a mess and failing to clean it up. Dropping litter.
- Isolating or alienating from support groups or family
- Making unnecessary noise that disturbs other people.
- Issuing orders without giving reasons "Call me."
- Falsely-stated expertise, talent or knowledge
- Fist pounding of inanimate objects, banging desks, throwing objects
- Life-style and security - innuendo or threats. Financial asset control to create dependence. Saying "I earn the money and keep a roof over your head!"
- Breach of confidence or breaking a promise.
- Interrogation of whereabouts, spending or intentions.
- Committing our time or resources without our consent
- Lack of credit for efforts or even falsely taking the credit for your efforts
- Door slamming, fist shaking
- Disproportionate allocation of assets
- Display of weapon(s) meant to intimidate
- Displayed generosity to create "appearances" which make you uncomfortable
- Sulking, walking out, provoking guilt and turning the subject to his grievances
- Failure to consider common-sense consequences to others of his behaviour
- Changed expectations or unrealistic goalsetting
- Lies, including omission of needed information
- Eye-rolling, 'snippy shoulder-shrug' responses, the 'hrumph' response, 'spit-out' responses
- Irresponsibility with other people's possessions
- Pretending to fire imaginery weapons (for example usng finger and thumb to reenact gun use)
- Public humiliation, ridiculing - often at unfortunate circumstances
- Character assassination, innuendo, "dirty tricks campaigns", slurring of character,
smear campaigning, bullying, defaming, vilifying, victimising, scapegoating, demonising, persecuting, coercing, corrupting, harrassing, berating, intimidating, beasting, hazing, mobbing, bullshitting, spying, bitching, backbiting, slagging off.
- Humiliation at lack of knowledge
- Discrepancy in treatment of children. Corruption, enticement or coercion into illegal or sexual activities.
- Lateness or non-arrival causing distress
- Reckless behaviour meant to scare
- Possessiveness or jealousy
- Inappropriate show of tears to appear overly reprimanded or portray insincere apology
- Selecting weaker targets, for example, picking on women, children or elderly. For example, about one in twenty elderly people are abused in some way.
- Bluffing threats
- Throwing tantrums
- Giving others tasks to do which are ill-defined and without the necessary resources or background information and then complaining about the outcome.
- Responding to a criticism of the way he is doing something by throwing that task back at the complainant and saying "If you think you can do it better, you do it !"